Stumbling Blocks

Tonight before going to bed, I was reading 1Nephi 14:1&2 which says,

1 "And it shall come to pass, that if the Gentiles shall hearken unto the Lamb of God in that day that he shall manifest himself unto them in word, and also in power, in very deed, unto the taking away of their stumbling blocks-

2 And harden not their hearts against the Lamb of God, they shall be numbered among the seed of thy father; yea, they shall be numbered among the house of Israel; and they shall be a blessed people upon the promised land forever; they shall be no more brought down into captivity; and the house of Israel shall no more be confounded."

Two things stood out to me. One was that if I listened to the Savior, I can have my stumbling blocks removed. Two was that if I would not hearden my heart against Him, I would be blessed and brought no more into captivity.

This addiction has been a huge stumbling block for me for so long. It's chords keeping me captive and receiving strength with each time I acted out. It has affected almost every aspect of my life. And dealing with that is hard.

I've been robbed of so much because of being bound in it's captivity over and over again! At times I have been confounded and blinded and that's frustrating! It's frustrating to have my relationship with my wife become so complicated because I was blind to what I was doing to her and to our relationship!

Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed and down because I'm REALLY feeling and seeing the amount of damage that's been done.

These words were all I got out of this chapter. But they're all I needed. The Lord is not physically here but, to the addict or the family member, He does manifest himself "in word and in power" through not only the Atonement, but through the steps of recovery.

He manifests himself through sponsors, support groups, and counselors. He manifests Himself through Bishops, Stake Presidents, and other leaders. He manifests Himself through family members and friends. He is everywhere. And if we hearken to His words, we WILL NOT be captive any longer. Each day of sobriety and working the steps will loosen the bands just a little more.

That doesn't mean that with the snap of a finger all will be gone. I know I will always be addicted to these things and that lifelong sacrifices will have to be made, but addiction will no longer have me for a prisoner if I chose to follow the Savior. The 12 steps lead us to Him. Step by step, but the choice is mine/ours to follow the teachings. What a promise! Over time my stumbling blocks can and will be removed.

My goal tomorrow is to find ways I can hearken to His voice. Because His voice brings healing and freedom. His voice will keep me from stumbling.